Fictional Baseball Player Snake Draft, Blaze Alexander & RIP Dolly | Episode 238

Alex Boyajian (00:00)

Alright, welcome back, episode two thirty-eight of Chaotically Intolerant. We have Caleb and John back again. they have just been we've been talking all week about the snake draft, so they're loving this. we have the best fictional baseball players snake draft on the show today. We're also gonna be talking a little baseball. Jaron Duran does not stink, even though Caleb spent the entire game last night talking about how Jaron Duran stinks. no more Pro Bowl. We are done with the Pro Bowl in the NFL and

Of course, our hot takes and the Maryland spotlight. we'll spend a few minutes on that. But before we jump into all that, make sure to like, comment, subscribe. You can vote on the draft at chaoticallyintolerant.com. Go check out Spring Hill sports cards, and let's go.

So the number one topic that's on everyone's mind right now is Dolly Parton. RIP to the real one. Moment of silence. We have a moment of silence for Dolly Parton starting right now.

All right. That was the official moment of silence for Dolly Parton. genuinely really good human being. Like actual good human being. so really sad to see her go. and then we lost Tim Tim Curry today as well. So back to back, tough deaths for the especially the American pop culture. tough, tough couple days, but it'll be hard. Fun fact about Dolly Parton. Sure. she started her reading initiative in wherever that is in Tennessee.

The district went from thirty eight percent dropout rate to six in a decade. To six? One of the six. Six percent. Drop thirty two percent. Sound like you said. Okay. I'm trying to be nice. And she also donated like fourteen million books. Yeah, she even does like forty. Forty? that was fourteen. We gotta we gotta fact same thing. We gotta fact off. We got a fact off.

also she donates Braille books for the blind as well. If you have a blind child, they you can get a some books in Braille. So that's really awesome. I think from the what what what song did Whitney Houston take or cover of hers? I think it was I'll always love you. I will always love you, yep. apparently she took almost all the royalties from that song that Whitney you know that she would get from Whitney Houston.

And she put it into a very run down black neighborhood in Tennessee. And she invested in the businesses and the homes in there and brought the neighborhood like out of out of a depression, essentially. So Yeah, her foundation's been doing stuff for like underprivileged kids and stuff like that for almost forty years. I yeah. I was looking it up, the Dollywood Found foundation started in nineteen eighty eight. Like she's been helping these kids for a long time.

Like genuine good person. I was in a meeting at work when it happened and I like stopped. I was like, my god. Like this is when it happens, you don't like think about it and then you're like, Holy shit, like this is like Dolly Parton. This is a massive amo I mean, top what where is she at in Americans? What what like how are we ranking her as an Amer as American? Top ten. Top ten top ten? I'll give her top. Well, how far are we going to back? Do we kinda like George Washington?

A blinking. Modern, modern day. I guess like if we had the steam engine. Start at the steam engine. Twentieth to twenty first century. Yeah. Top top five, top ten. twenty first century. Top five, easy. One. Top three, twenty first century. yeah, so R.I.P. Dolly Parton. This is the Dolly Parton Memorial episode. So Caleb, you were at the Red Sox game last night. How talk about Lone Depot Park.

Is it's your favorite ballpark on the planet, correct? It's it's a little overhated, honestly. I've been to Lone Depot two times now. I haven't had any bad experiences. It's I mean, the food options are great, to be honest. Like they've got pizza, they've got all kinds of Cuban food hanging around, the classic ballpark food. I I do like Lone Depot. It it gets a little loud when the roof is

is closed and that's saying a lot considering how empty that was. Nobody there. Nobody. It but everything kind of ricochets like louder than it does at the Trop or or at Texas's new stadium. Like it feels like everything's kinda echoing in Lone Depot. But other than that, honestly, it's it's a good ballpark to go watch a game, especially a game like I saw last night. Are they do they do the Florida ballpark the best though?

Because people always say you can't have a full outdoor park in Florida because of the rain, then make it so some sunlight comes in, at least bare minimum. Tropican. See, I I can't speak to if there was sunlight coming in because the two games I've been to were night games, but I personally it's the best ballpark out of the two in Florida. I it I it's a retractable roof, right? both times the roof's been closed, but I think it is retractable.

But I I I like the roof for the hot games like that. I I think last night it rained a little bit, so it's kinda it's kinda perfect, but it's a good ballpark overall. I I I'm not gonna put it in up with Fenway or Wrigley or Oracle Park or PNC or anything like that. Or Coffin, of course. No. but it Lone Depot is a solid park. I I would go to watch a game there again and I probably will. Large three panel retractable roof. Yeah. Hell yeah.

It's so damn hot in Florida they hardly ever open it up. John, can we get an update on the race new stadium? I I saw the mock-ups. It actually looks kinda cool. I know I know you're you're the premier source on that. I f well, like I hate Tropicana Field and I'll put in any single conversation it's brought up. I walk in as soon as I walk in Tropicana Field, I at my wife and go, This place fucking sucks. And then I took her to Steinbrenner Field.

For games you just you're right, it's better outside. I'm like, yeah. Baseball is b way better outside. My issue for drop one, you can't see the ball anymore. For comfortability, if you wanna just I hate Trop Canafield. I've like a known hater of Trop Canafield. But if you wanna just go for comfortability, which I think is what they tried to do for all the retirees, the Trop is great for them. It's not for baseball. It's like a movie theater. Yeah, but they they replace the

White roof with like an off white roof that is a baseball color same color as a fucking baseball. So the ball would go up there. I'm like, where is it? my god, I can't see the baseball anywhere. There were two dropped pop ups in the game I went to. Or in the four games I went to a total of three. No, one a r a Ray dropped a ball. I'm like, dog, you should be used to this. I'm just used to I'm just used to seeing Royals drop fly balls. we have first of all multiple gold clovers in our roster. So don't

Pound San Powell. Red Sox. What fuck? Caleb. We we no I didn't say anything about the Red Sox. I didn't say anything derogatory toward the Red Sox. The GOAT Jaron Duran. You made it you made it sound like we do not also have that. No, I never talked. Why are you so defensive? by the way, you know that Jaron Duran could have been a Royal and Noah Cameron could have been a Red Sox. How does that make you feel, Caleb?

You have Noah Cameron instead of directly. Is Noah K has Noah Cameron ever been the the fucking all-star game MVP? No. I don't think Noah Cameron's had to go ahead and drain slam the 11th for the Sox. Has he ever made an all-star game? No. But I want to find Exactly. I want to pull this up. Your argument sucks. Your argument is it's horrible. It's horrible. I said it's horrible. I said is Cal Raleigh the worst batter in the MLB this year. And Caleb.

Within hours of the Jalen Duran Grand Slam said Jalen Duran or Jaron Duran exists. Jaron Duran is fucking awful. Yep. yeah. That was literally last night leading up to the Grand Slam. I spoke it into existence, what can I say? Until then he was awful. Yeah, and then he also said Jaron Duran's worst sucks. Third worst WRC plus out of qualified hitters this year.

So what are you doing in this offseason? I think they trade him. you I you can't get much for him, but it's changed his trade value over the last two seasons by holding on to him. They should have hindsight's 2020, but they should have traded. This is a great segue into our very next topic on Major League Baseball. So just hold it for a second.

Let's go to the next topic. Okay, we're gonna talk Jared Durant Trade.

So it reminds me of what the Royals did with Whit Merrifield, where he had like two phenomenal seasons. And they're like, no, we're gonna we're gonna squeeze one more out of him. And then his trade value tanks, and they're like, okay, well let's let him play a season. His trade value will go back up. and then it did. And then we decided to hold on to him for another season and get nothing. So if you realize you have a backlog of outfield talent, why don't you just start moving people? Why do we wait?

Why do we well be great to have six outfielders on the 40 min roster? Cause you already had they're already trying to figure out what to do with Yoshida going forward. He probably will DH t permanently. But this offseason you might get a throwaway like lottery ticket style prospect for Jaron Durant, but at least he's off the books and he's not holding up a roster spot anymore. A few seasons ago, you probably could have gotten somebody's a top ten prospect or Ethan South Tim Third. Yeah.

Ethan Towson don't cease. That's what was proposed and the Red Sox said no to it.

And they said no to And that was last year. That wasn't after his MVP caliber season in 24, which is hindsight's 2020. That's probably when they should have dealt him. But you didn't know that Sedan Raphael was going to be become what he is. You didn't know William Bray was going to become what he is. Roman Anthony was ascending in the pipeline, but he wasn't seen as the superstar that he might be potentially seen as today. So I I can kind of understand them holding on to him because he was what a seven, eight war player in twenty twenty four. Yeah.

So I can see him pulling off everything. Defense, he's been a little better this year. Last year was a kind of a shit show. 2024, he was a gold glove finalist. I know nowadays that really doesn't mean much, considering guys like Ju Soto have been gold glove finalists, but I I can see why they hung on to him. It in hindsight, it wasn't the greatest idea because nobody really saw a fall off quite like this. Yeah. But I use in 2024, you

Could see him as a cornerstone piece of this team. I mean, he's a easy 2020 bat, maybe potential for a 3030 guy. I mean, it's a spark plugging the offense, guy who turns singles into doubles, steals bags like crazy. Does he just need the vision, but it just did not happen? Does he just need a new setting? Is it the fact that red tuck camps have turned on him effectively and he doesn't feel like he's fitting in with the organization anymore?

I mean that could be a huge rejuvenation for a guy who has the tools and the talent. I think that could be a factor, honestly, just because he's he's a very mental guy. Like we've seen the the the stuff he talked about in the Netflix documentary, and I'm not I'm not saying that's why he's performing poorly, but we know he's kind of a mental guy. He like he th he thinks the worst of everything. He's kind of just all over the place in his mind of I suck, I'm good, I don't know. So maybe a smaller market.

maybe a competing smaller market. I I I can't think of a fit off the top of my head. Maybe like a Houston or a or a Kansas City left fielder. I could see him thriving in Kansas City, but I I think with other fast dudes that kind of play a similar game as him. He that's kind of what we're trying to do. I think he could be a a a better fit, like a a better a change of scenery guy.

in a place where like he fits the roster a lot better than he does here. Like you said, we have backlog of outfielders and I mean even a couple more probably coming up in the next year or two. So there he's gonna be the odd man out regardless of a gr a go ahead grand slam last night. But I I I've always liked Jaron Duran, but it doesn't seem like it's going to happen in Boston. Yeah. So I have a topic Kayla Alex, is this the right place to put in

My topic on the open topic, or is is it okay to just throw in for in the MOB? It's a baseball related topic. This is we're in we're in the MOB now. Perfect. who's the biggest threat to Jordan Alvarez's triple crown? Is it Chandler Simpson who is second in average? Is it Junior Cameronero who's only trailing by a single home run? Or is it Pete Alonzo who is two RBIs back?

Obviously Alvarez is first place in all three of the triple crown categories.

I think it's junior. I mean, we've seen we've seen this year where he can go on a run. He he had what six straight game, five straight games with a home or something like that. And then probably two days after he lost that streak, he hit another two or three. Like he can absolutely go off. So I'm yeah I'm not saying I think he's going to finish the year with more home runs than Jordan, but with his track record with how hot he can get, I I I think he

I mean junior, I don't think fifty's out of the question yet for him. No. I think he could go on a kind of run like that. It would take a miracle, but he has five. Yeah. I mean he has the capability to just go on a run like he did, what was it, in July or June. Yeah, well the Royals are playing to start that series. And he I I've been to in his time, I've been to seven race games to watch him play the Royals. He's hit a home run in four of them. So it's almost like a given when I'm gonna see him is gonna hit a home run.

but in the power he has is unbelievable. some of the swings he takes that get it out of there. Where you look at you like, that's a pop fly twenty feet in front of the warning track. No, it's just carries. Go ahead, sorry. yeah, I was gonna say he's a good bad ball hitter too. Like I've seen him just absolutely demolish pitches that most average major leaguers are not even gonna hit out of the infield. Like he

He's got insane power, insane strength. Sort of similar to like young Salvador Perez. I know I always go to Royals, but statistically one of the best bad ball hitters of the modern era. So, and that's a talent, especially when guys are gonna start throwing away from you. They're going to try to get you to chase. If you can still get a hold of those pitches, that just adds your repertoire and makes you that much more dangerous. Can't really pitch around a guy like that. Do you guys want to know their stretches?

That they're gonna have. Yeah. All right. Tampa's got San Diego, New York, Texas, Atlanta, Houston, Sacramento, Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. So Houston, Houston, Boston, and Sacramento, how many of those are away? all of them are at home.

okay. I was gonna say him going. That is all a nine game homestand. I could I could see him going demon mode in all three of those stadiums. Was that the Astros or the Rays or on the home stretch? Or homestand? I'm talking about Polar Pete or I'm talking about the Rays. okay but you did mention Alonzo and I'll pull up I'll pull up Houston's two at the for the end. Well, I mean the A's

Got swept by the Royals, they lost something like 11 in a row, and their bullpen is quite possibly the worst bullpen I've ever seen. They cannot keep the ball in the park. So, yeah, Cam Monero, if they go to the bullpen and he gets 10 at bats against Oakland's bullpen, he could realistically hit four or five in that stretch if he's seeing the ball well. Cause the Royals, I mean, they the athletics' bullpen made the Royals look like the Garri Gera Yankees. It was unbelievable.

How bad they really are. So yeah. the Orioles, which we will discuss a little bit more about the Orioles in the Maryland spotlight. they have St. Louis in St. Louis, Sacramento in Sacramento. I ha I hate saying it. I just hate saying Sacramento. It disgusts me. Colorado in Colorado. four against Boston in Baltimore, three against Cleveland in Baltimore, three against Toronto in Toronto.

Three against the Mets in New York, three against Milwaukee at home, three against Toronto at home, and three against New York Yankees to end the season. The thing about that one though is it relies on batters getting on base ahead of it for Alonzo. So I think the home run I mean, obviously home runs are an individual stats, so you're looking at guy versus guy. Now you're talking about the athletics, I'm sorry, the Astros.

whole roster versus Baltimore's whole roster. I think I mean Houston's got the edge in that. Granted Cameron Arrow's only six behind Alvarez in RBIs as well. So if he catches him in home runs, it's very conceivable he catches him in RBIs as well.

Houston has a they're finishing a series in New York right now. They have the Mets, then the White Sox, Arizona, shout out Serafina, Philadelphia, Tampa in Tampa, Kansas City at home, Atlanta at home, and then they have two in Seattle and then four in Sacramento.

So they both get to play in Sacramento, which is like a middle school stadium.

I know if they can't. Alvarez gets it at the end of the year, though. Yeah. He's probably gonna know what he needs. I don't think he's gonna I don't think he's gonna win. The the pressure starts mounting toward down the stretch. I mean, it's an unbeliev I mean, it's not as bad as when Miguel Cabrera did it because it hadn't been done in so long. But dude, that's a lot of pressure to achieve a personal milestone like that. That's tough. What does that do to his Hall of Fame?

chances if he gets you win a you win a triple crown I think that really helps automatically no but it's still it's still way too early to make any any calls on that. Well Yordon's what twenty eight, twenty nine? Yeah. A guy like that that's pretty much a DH, you gotta you gotta hit five hundred home runs. I think as a primary DH, I think you have to hit one of the big milestones. I mean you've seen the one DH

Primary or I guess two primary DH's in the Hall of Fame. Kyle Schwarber Schwarbrell will be the third. That's debatable. I don't know. He's gonna get five hundred. Yeah. He's gonna get he's gonna get five hundred. Alvarez is at two six. He is in his age twenty nine season. So now 'cause he had a year of one, he had a year of six. Everything else, he's never cracked forty.

Who's who's closest to five hundred right now? When's our next five hundred? It's Strout. Stanton. Trout or Stanton. I think Stanton's at like four sixty, isn't he? He's in. Is he gonna play again this year? Trout just or every No, he's he's out for the year. Is he done? Is he gonna play ever again? Yeah. I think isn't next year, I think, is his contract year though. So I might be mi it could be twenty eight, but I think it's next year. But after that, I'm I'm curious to see what kind of

What kind of free agent contract he gets, or if the Yankees maybe bring him back. Of the remaining guys, Stanton will get there. He will play to get another 450. Is at 460? 456. Trout is 34 years old at 24 424. He's he's guaranteed. Machado's stays healthy, he's there. Yeah, Machado's at 393 at 33 years old. Harper's at 389 with at 33. I don't think Goldschmidt gets another 120. I don't think Freeman gets another 120.

I don't think Arenado gets there. Schwarber only needs another one twenty-five and he's thirty-three years old. He'll get there. Schwarber's a sneaky twenty three thirty three years. He might get to six hundred. Yeah, he might get to six hundred. He it feels like he's been around for a while. Yeah, he well, 'cause he he was a big name. Well, he had playoff success really early in his career. The mascot. Yeah, it was it was the injuries and the struggles in Chicago early on, but I I think Schwarber gets to five hundred. Here's an interesting one.

Soto's at 265. He's 27. I did the math on this. If he averages 37 a year through his age 37 season, he would retire within striking within like 80 home runs. Or at that point, he'd be within like 80 home runs of of the all time record. So if he played to 40 and averaged 35, he gets it. I mean he's got what start? He's got two sixty and seven, eight years in the big leagues. He recreates that. It's a full career and he's

Passing. He's about yeah, he's around 600 at least. Yeah. If he stays on the trajectory he's on, he gets to 700 in his age 38 season. I did the math on it last night. And if you're at that, if you're that close, you just keep playing until you break the record. That assumes health, but I I mean I'm intrigued to follow along with that over the next decade or so. I actually I actually took down his averages a little bit to account for missed games occasionally.

Because he's rattled off two forty home run seasons. last year was forty-three. The year before that was it was forty three, forty one the last two seasons. And I took I dropped it down to an average of thirty five to thirty seven just throughout the rest of his career because you're not gonna say he's gonna hit forty every year. Cause he's not gonna get to forty this year. He'll get to thirty one, thirty two this year. Do you have a stolen basis last year? I'm wondering where I got thirty nine from. Thirty eight.

Thirty eight out. I knew he was close to forty forty, so that's probably what I was thinking of. That's an absurd because he's not that fast. Why can't he play the outfield if he can steal thirty eight bases?

'Cause he's lazy. 'Cause playing outfield isn't an individual stat, it's a team stat.

All right. I have three of the hot teams from the past week. One No, I'm not talking about the fucking Royals. They're not even worth nine in a row, baby. I'm not discussing a team with a point back. I'm not discussing a team I'm not discussing a team with a point one percent chance to make the playoffs. I'm talking about the Cleveland Guardians, who are eight and two. they have won six in a row. And I mean, we knew this was gonna happen.

Right. Like the Guardians are always good for a run in late August, early September. I said it last week. I said when we were talking about the wild card standings. Yeah. That's exactly what a record. Late August, early September, they start their run. And that is when they push to the playoffs. And they've done it three out of the last four years, I think. They just go on a run in August, September. And I I'm i if there was

Another team that hot in the wild card push, I'd be nervous for the Red Sox even six and a half games up on the third wild card spot. This year they have to deal with the White Sox. They're not gonna win the normally they're putting a push on to win a fucking dog shit division. This year they're putting a push on to compete with all the rest of the AL teams. I don't think they're gonna catch the White Sox. They're I think the White Sox have they seem to have bad range. They said that about the Tigers lead last year.

You never know with the Guardians in in September. They're two and a half back. I think the White Sox are a much better team than the Tigers were last year. The White Sox Montgomery. Yeah, Davis Martin kind of fell off. Grant Taylor, who was like supposed to be the dominant bullpen arm, is sort of Chain Smith's okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't I don't love their pitching, but I think they have an outstanding offense.

So I think strength versus strength, I like the White Sox offense better than I like what is the Guardians' real strength? I mean, what are they really good at? Are they just okay at yeah, they're g they're okay at everything. And I'm not sure I want a team that I'm leaning on. We're gonna be okay all over the field, just above average everywhere. I don't I mean, that's not where I wanna you know, place my bets.

You could say that about the Guardians each of the last four or five years or so. They're just okay. But they just weren't a good team getting in the playoffs, too. They they I mean they didn't take set the world on fire in the postseason. No, they'll get steamrolled in the playoffs like they did by the Yankees on their World Series run. But they're they're a good regular season team. They do the small things well. they play small ball, they're scrappy. But when you get into the playoffs, that's that's not gonna fly when you're when you're facing some

Real superstars outside of the AL Central. Yeah.

my next team I have in the weakest division, I think in baseball, the Seattle Mariners. Are seven and three in their last ten. They've won two in a row, but that's not really a big deal. But they have taken well, they've taken the series against Philly and they took the series against Chicago as well. Chicago being that real test. So who I mean, like, are we just gonna hand the the Astros the division the West again? I I'm st

The Rangers and the Mariners are trying their very best to hand the Astros a fucking division. I'm sorry, it's not good enough. They're under 500. Not good enough. That division's so easy to win that the Astros are in first place and fire their GM. That's how bad it's getting over there in the West. No, here's Caleb. I actually want to hear your opinion on this. The Kate Anderson thing. Sorry, I'm putting the Royals game on. The Kate Anderson thing, I thought it was a strange call-up at this point in the year.

If you're bringing him up specifically to be like a traditional starter, which is what they're saying, you literally just traded Luis Castillo, so you didn't have to run six starters and do that piggybacking thing. One nothing. Do you think they're just trying to get him ready so that they can trade someone this off season and still have five deep? I think it was sorry. No, you're good. I think it was just because he was dominating so so much in double A. He what a

He was close to a one flat ERA. Unreal in double A. I don't I don't think you s make a guy surpass Triple A if it's just like a developmental thing. I think they genuinely think he's ready, which I I can't argue that. I mean he looked yeah he looked decent in the in the game. Yeah, Cubs. I mean it's a it's a major league debut. You can't expect Steven Strasberg every time. tough, tough offense. Cubs are a tough offense. Cubs are a good team, they hit right easy or they hit lefties well.

I I think it's just they think he's ready. And yeah, and I I don't blame them for thinking that. Bryce Miller's been a little iffy with them. They traded Luis Castillo, they need some some fresh arms. I mean, even why don't they bump Miller to the bullpen? I don't understand that. Swing man roll. 'Cause he can he can eat innings. It's I think his last outing it was six or seven innings. Sorry to say that, but is in four runs like

It's not stellar like it had been the last couple of years, but he can eat innings, which is kind of what they need right now to survive, especially considering how ass the AL is, specifically the AL West. I think they think they can get by with maybe a young phenom coming up and and rolling the dice and hope he does become a a rookie Steven Strasberger, Paul Skeens, which it's a that's a tough task to ask for, but I

With the stats he put up in double A, I I can't see why you don't think he would be ready. Yeah. Alex, third team. well, it's the Boston Red Sox. I know we've talked a lot about the Boston Red Sox. They've cut the lead down to five and a half in the American League East. I think they're was it three and a half behind the Yankees, which is honestly the one that's one and a half. it's one and a half. I'm sorry, one and a half. I thought that was Yankees lost except two.

I thought it said they were two back of the race. yeah, that's the one that matters. All the shit the Yankees were talking at the beginning of the year about how bad we were. And then how bad we actually were. Yeah. and Cam Shittler. I I don't call him Schl Schlitzer, I call him Cam Shitter. talk I mean talking shit about his home team, hometown team. Caleb, how you feeling? I'm

Pretty damn good. Is Mickey Gasper I think Mickey Mickey Gasper is having like a top ten seven-game stretch in an old history? I don't know. I'm guessing you saw that post on Twitter. Yeah. Of all the the greatest. I I wasn't sure if that was actually real. I was like, are you serious? This this is actually real? I think it is. Some credited guys like reacted to it on Twitter, but yeah, it's a top ten list, greatest seven-game stretches of all time by

I can't remember if it was by OPS or by slugging or WRC plus or whatever. But Mickey Gasper was sixth, sandwiched in between like 2012 Josh Hamilton and 98 Sammy Sosa or something like that. Yeah. Like I I don't believe it's sustainable because Mickey Gasper is a career quadruple A guy. But that's kind of been the theme of the Red Soxes here is like calling up these scrappy little triple A, quadruple A guys, and they just go on a run. They they get hot.

You saw with Anthony Siegler. We're still seeing it with Nick Sogard. He's cooled off a little bit, but he went bonkers the last two series. And earlier in the year, who was it that was going off? Why am I blanking? Well, there was Monasterio too. Monasterio got hot for a while. Yeah. And now I'm I'm blanking on one guy that was hot early in the year. I it was just some scrappy infielder, and I'm it's I'm going to kick myself when I

When I think of name, but no, it was in that same kind of

I don't know. It'll it'll come to me later. Whatever. Scrappy white guy. Yeah, that's scrappy white guy. That's what we'll call it. Scrappy little dudes that get it done. And that's that's been the theme of the team this year for some reason. Obviously Wilson Atreus has been call it what you will, it's he's been an MVP candidate. So I don't know. I it's the the meshing of different different styles of play, different personalities on the team, it's really

It's really shown the last couple of months, obviously. And I mean, this has been one of my favorite Red Sox teams in recent memory.

Of Red Sox Glaze to start the show. I like it. we're gonna go through the NL a little quicker because they just haven't been as good this week. the Phillies. they did they have lost the first two in their series. Hold on, am I looking at the Phillies? I was looking at the wrong team. It is the Phillies, though. They lost two of three to the Mariners, but before that, they took three in a row versus St. Louis, they took three in a row versus Miami.

And three in a row versus Minnesota. Not stellar teams by any means, but it pays to win. And now they are sitting at four and a half games back of the Atlanta Braves, who felt like they were going to run away with this thing and maybe clinch it in early September. I think the Phillies are a similar sort of thing to the Guardians. they're a team that has plenty of playoff experience. They're not intimidated by a close race down the stretch. They have

The name the big names. and I don't think they are really that weak anywhere. I mean they're not a team that you look at and you say they have a glaring hole here. They have the big bats, they've got some solid arms. bullpen maybe. But I mean Caleb, what are you what are your thoughts?

I mean the Phillies are I mean it's a similar timeline to what the Guardians are doing right now, but mean significantly different way of going about it. I mean the the the Guardians are playing small ball, the scrappy team, the Phillies are just going to hit the shit out of the ball. I think they already have two homers tonight. Schwerberg to sit as fortieth. That's that's not a team I want to run into in the playoffs. Just because I mean, maybe their pitching's not

The best. You've got Wheeler, you've got Sanchez top of the rotation, but after that, it's a little iffy. Jesus Lazardo. Lozardo's been great too. Yeah. I don't know why I forgot about him, but it's I mean, they've got three, they've got three starting pitchers you can trust, and they have a solid closer. Yeah, that maybe very powerful team. Yeah. But what my point was that.

I they feel like a team that's never out of it, no matter if as long as there's enough games to get in it, they're gonna get back in it. Just like the Guardians, you say, there are four games back, there's ten games left, they're gonna win the division. And I feel the same way about the Phillies. Because the Braves, on the other hand, a team that has a lot of holes, who has really struggled to put together like consistent stretches, especially going into and coming out of the all-star break.

Then the Dodgers, after losing three or four to Milwaukee, they have they swept the lowly Colorado Rockies and Pittsburgh Pirates. but I'm gonna give this, I'm gonna give you guys a little bit more of an opportunity to discuss some cheating from the LA Dodgers. Some major, major cheating that honestly could be really bad for the league if we go into a lockout and we find out that essentially the Dodgers were just

running a a Ponzi scheme to get all the big players. Like it it's it's it's disgusting. I does this illegitimize the whole series that they won. The contracts are public. I mean you could have signed Chohe Otani. It's th yeah they were moving money around, but they're one of the wealthiest franchises in baseball. They have the money. They were just Well, we don't know if they have the money. They might not have the money. And if they can't pay

the money that they're supposed to pay, I think that illegitimizes the world series. They should have never had those players. Yeah. But they're still gonna win the World Series this year. Because I can start a team and I can just go to Shohei and I can say, I'm gonna pay you two billion. You may get it, you might not, but we're gonna go win a World Series.

Is that not is that unfair to the s lower market teams who play the game by the way? They're T V contracts. They're I mean, the amount of merchandise they sell. They sell out every game. They go on a playoff run every year where they sell out every game. They it's it's not like they don't have the assets. If the money let's say hypothetically the MLB said we need it we're gonna revert all of your deferred contracts back.

back to active and you've got to pay Otani the money of the last two seasons that you deferred. I hope they didn't you've got to start paying. They could pay him that money. It's not like they're like we can't come up with sixty million dollars. Of course they can. They're I mean they're worth billions of dollars. Worst case scenario, sorry I plugged my laptop in worst case scenario, that owner who owns what? Less than half the team would have to just sell his shares in the team. He would have to sell and then he would go to jail because it was him

Committing fraud, not necessarily the team as a whole. From what I understand, it's nothing he did is like blatantly illegal. He just was giving himself loans from other shell companies he owned, which is just one of those things where that's allowed to be done for some reason. Caleb? I'm not as well spoken in the economic side of baseball, but

I mean the the the deferred contracts, we saw that coming out when that was when they were doing all that. I mean, they did it with Takarotani. I'm sure a couple other guys that I'm I'm liking on their contracts. Yeah. It's it kind of seemed sketchy to me because it felt like a kind of thing where they push that money off and then maybe want to sell the team, which I'm not sure if that's the plan currently, but I mean they're they're owned by

Is it a private equity firm, the guy who owns the Dodgers? It's like seven or eight people are all part he owns the he is the largest individual shareholder of the Dodgers, but there's a lot of people with two to five to ten percent of it. and if he needed to, he could sell out to the remaining owners and they could all absorb a piece of his ownership. It does feel like a lot of kind of gray area, at least for me, because I'm not super as tuned into the

To the money side of stuff, to the business side of stuff. but it is really weird to see Jeff Passon looped into all this. I don't know if you guys have seen that. There there's accusations that Jeff Passons like covering for these Dodgers owners, which just feels like it's it's just so much going on. And I I don't know enough to give my full opinion on it, but I the whole situation seems really lit sketchy to me. Like we also don't feel like they could be moving

Out there. Yeah. I'm sure if the Diamondbacks owner was doing this, would would it be a story? The Diamondback's owner might have borrowed money that he didn't have from a network. If were doing that to sign players. If they were doing that to sign players and possibly disrupt the major league baseball ecosystem by signing all the big players, yes, that would be a big story. Yeah. If he was doing it to go eighty one and eighty one.

No, it's like you're a fucking idiot because if he was doing that just to coat five hundred. Yeah. But at the same time, you see a lot of people saying the Dodgers organization's broke. That's just factually incorrect and sort of dumb. Because tomorrow they could come into fifty b like they could come into fifty million dollars if they needed it. They would just borrow it from a bank and then they would sign over the money from their TV contracts. You know, they could they could put up

A multi billion dollar franchise as collateral anytime they want it. They their assets are just too high to be going broke. Now, are they manipulating the market unfairly? Yes, absolutely. And if that is a crime, then hold them accountable for that. Don't say things like they're going broke or they can't afford to pay these places. Of course they can. Yeah, I think they're manipulating it unfairly. Yeah, and that's that's perfectly fair.

That's something that's probably going to be addressed in the CBA negotiations this offseason or into the spring of twenty twenty seven. That's that might be where we get the no deferred money. Yeah. But think about it this way. If it and the whole thing with them selling the team and then then they don't have to pay those contracts. Of course they still have to pay the contracts. Caleb, if you're gonna buy a business from somebody, you're not gonna consider that they have over a billion dollars in deferred payments for players that aren't there?

That is going to be considered in a any kind of sale of the team. So if they say, yeah, we're gonna sell, you're not gonna get the five billion you wanted, you'll get 3.9 instead of five or six or whatever it's worth. That doesn't bother me at all. The deferred money doesn't bother me that much. Eventually it's going to come out of the team's budget. And over time, $60 million 30 years down the road is not as much as $30 million today. And that's their thought process.

will be worth significantly more as an organization when that money comes due. The Dodge reminds me of Live Golf a lot. The the golf league that came up to compete against PJ Tor. Now they're like just not they don't have the money to pay. Don't let them back in. Don't let the player So John Rah John Rahm and all these guys who went and signed for a hundred billion dollars are probably not getting all of that. I think they might try and start it and then just or restart it and give equity.

in the team in the league. Be like, you just own a hundred billion dollars of live now. Or a hundred billion dollars of live now. It would be like leaving Major League Baseball to go join some gimmicky baseball league because they promise you all that money. How dumb are you? Savannah. Yeah, they're the Savannah Savannah Bananas of Golf. Don't let Jackie Bradley back in. He's not allowed back.

Did Jackie Bradley play Eric Eric Osborne went played a game for the bananas. A game. Jackie Bradley is on the Jackie Bradley's on a team. He was drafted. First round pick. He's on the Indianapolis Clowns. the Savannah Bananas followed me on TikTok, so I'm I'm sort of getting tuned into it. In case they invite me to do it to run a to to do a broadcast or something. It feels very the Savannah Banana the the g the you know, the owner seems very cool, all that stuff. Something about it seems very turky and childish.

Dude perfect, like just a little odd. I'm keeping my di I'm keeping my distance. I'm just like keeping them at an arm's length. I've been to a game, it's a good time. I'm sure it's a great game. I probably wouldn't do it again. It's purely entertainment. If you go in expecting good baseball, you you probably will come out disappointed. But it's a good show. It's entertaining. Harley is it gateway baseball? Is it gateway baseball to real baseball? There you go.

No. Well, but like if if I take my my nine year old son, is he gonna be a little more interested in baseball than he was when before we went? He could be, but then I feel like it's kind of misleading to show him MLB and the pitcher's not doing backflips and the center fielder's not hitting the Dougie in center or something. You imagine he your your son goes to a game, he's like, Where's where's the celebration, like the dance celebration?

Why the fuck is Tarek Skoobel not dancing right now? Why where is the stilts guy? Why is there nobody batting on stilts? The stilts guy followed me. Why is there nobody bat batting on stilts? This is insane. I'm not going to this. Major League Baseball sucks. That fan caught that foul ball. Why is the pitter still in the box?

Really funny. I'm still gonna go to the game just check it out. Yeah, good luck getting tickets. Can we draft? Can we draft now? No, we have can we have a couple more segments? We have a couple more segments. Heard. And we're moving on to a little bit of NFL. All right. NFL. I think we'll we'll start off with the positive. the Pro Bowl is dead. RIP. another memorial. This is a memorial segment for the Pro Bowl.

I mean it is just a waste of time now. It really is. I just I miss the real Pro Bowl. I really at this point just name your Pro Bowlers and say it's like an honorary thing. I think that's you are I think that's even dumber. Why are we No? Because you know what's even dumber is that like Mahomes doesn't go to the Pro Bowl because he's gonna be the Super Bowl and Jalen Hurts doesn't go to the Pro Bowl because he's gonna be the Super Bowl. So they name two more guys Pro Bowlers.

And one of them doesn't want to play because Yeah, so we end up with Mac Jones. That's how we end up with Mac Jones and Tyler Huntley in the Pro Bowl. No, just don't call it a Pro Bowl or come up with another name for it. I don't want it because like when I think of the Pro Bowl, I think of a game where the pros play. As soon as they as soon as they moved it to before the Super Bowl, that was when the Pro Bowl was dying. Like that was like the first sign of like, okay, this thing's dead. Because

If it was after the Super Bowl, you're getting everyone to come no matter what. Unless they're at the Why not take all the dumb festivities and just move them to sorry, to where the Super Bowl is. If you want to have a flag football game of like current and retired players, just do it the day two days before the Super Bowl. I don't need the flag football bullshit. But let the fan I mean at at minimum let the fans. Make it part of the festivity.

It should have been it should the honestly the funniest thing they could have done is have every player play as themselves. Every pla so like the offensive linemen have to play as an offensive line in Madden. Like you have to play as the offensive line. Can you imagine how horrible that would be? It would look so bad, but it would be so funny. It would probably be more entertaining than the actual Pro Bowl. Yeah. Give Cardinal Jones in it. Dude, do you remember when he beat the kid? Fuck my nuts. Sorry. Who? What?

You remember Cardell Jones went for a make a wish and he beat the kid like 9512? Yeah. He's a dog in Madden, apparently. No, I was saying bring me back the the old time Pro Bowl festivities competitions. I saw an old clip of it was like the ninety-eight or ninety-nine Pro Bowl, the long throw competition for quarterbacks, like Jim Harbaugh, Steve Young.

And Brett Favre, guys like that. That's the kind of stuff people are gonna watch. We're not gonna watch flag football or dodgeball or whatever that I haven't watched Pro Bowl festivities in probably four years. But do the festivities during media week at the Super Bowl. Give people that go to media week. you want to come see the interviews? By the way, we're gonna be doing the skills competition the same day as the big interviews. At least then you're giving people nobody goes, dude. Does anybody go to the Pro Bowl?

Like how many fans show up at the Pro Bowl? Not anymore. People used to go. Yeah. They had it in Hawaii one year. That's that's all it needed to be. No, they had it in Hawaii for many years. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah. I couldn't remember if they kept it there or if they kept alternating like they do in other sports, but No, it was it was there for a long time. They did that. That was like also a very good opportunity for them to do a little bit of like culture expanding. 'Cause like, yeah, we're doing the we're let's go to Europe, let's go to Australia, let's go to all

Like the Hawaii Hawaii, like the only Hawaii sports I think that we really ever get in on the mainland is we get Hawaii football. Like the college football. You get that at like eleven PM on a Friday night. That's pretty much what other warriors Hawaiian R IP sports are we getting? Nothing. What? R.I.P. Colt Brennan. Wasn't he very sad. He was a Hawaiian rainbow. That was like Rainbow Warriors.

I know, but he's the only w name real quick. Did he die? Did he die? Name another Hawaii name another Hawaii another athlete, pro athlete out of the University of Hawaii. Three, two, one

Exactly. Connor did you say Connor Wong? Colton. I know he's from Hawaii. I don't think he I don't know if he went Hawaii. Probably not. I just threw a Hawaiian name up there. But you gave me like Vietnam flashbacks when you said Connor Wong. Even though he's still Colton Wong even from Hawaii? I don't think so. Yes, he did. And Jake Bower. Yes, in Jake Bower. Let's go, Caleb. Let's go, Caleb.

Alright, now we have some new uniforms. I'm gonna be sharing my screen so you guys can see. All right, here's the Packers. They shouldn't no, that's ugly. Packers. What is ugly? There's a college. Yeah. That's ugly. I I'm gonna go five. I think it's actually four. Baylor. It looks like Baylor. That's Baylor. Looks like yeah. That's fucking Notre Dame

RG three. I'm going four on these. Very mid. Seven. I kinda like Five. They're better. I think they're better than the Bears. Six and a half. It's almost disappointing how mid they are. That's why it's a four. You you lose a point. this is just the Panthers. Exactly. I I that it looks exactly like Panthers jerseys. Two.

Yeah, four or five. Three. Give it a three because I like blue. If it didn't look like the Panthers, honestly, it probably could be up there. Jags I think are cooler. I don't like the pants, but I really like the jersey. I like the cream color jersey. And I actually really like the helmet. I like the color when they go with that color helmet. like six and it doesn't look like a college uniform.

Yeah. Unless you want to say cool. It's unique. It is unique. Six. Yeah, it looks cool. I like that. I like the I like the teal helmets too on it. I'd I'd probably give it a s I hate to say it again, a six or seven. Houston, they're just doing the oilers. They're doing the oilers, which good. The Oilers belong in Houston. I'm sorry. The Titans doing the Oilers is fucking disgusting.

This gives me the vibes of the the Brave City Connect just basically being their 70s, 80s jerseys, which I c I kinda like it. Like seven and a half. I like these. I have an eight. It's my favorite one so far. Bears. Now with the orange helmet and orange pants, it does look vintagey. Are they gonna be using the vintage logo on the helmet? Because if they do, then it's it's the it's the regular bears. Then I give it an if they the if they had the throwback bear, I'd probably go eight, but I'd yeah, I'll put it at seven.

I do like the orange helmet and the orange pants. Kind of gives me Syracuse vibes, but Colts hate Hate One. They're a one. The the Colts it's exactly the same as the isn't this exactly the same as what's the Bills? No, it's the Lions did the all the gray top and pants. I do not I hate I do not like the Indiana Knights ones, the black ones that they have. I think they're ugly. Honestly, if you swap the helmets on the Indiana Knights and these

They look better. The metallic blue actually looks better on the Indiana Knights, but I still don't like the Colts are like such a clo their uniforms are very like classical. Like they've been wearing them since they've existed, basically. It's been blue and white the entire time. It's very difficult like you have to go throwback. I want the bucking horse. Like the the old logo with the horse kicking back. That one I've haven't seen. They haven't done that. They should have done that. Just

No, I'm not a fan of these. Vikings, I think these look good. Shout out Serafino. I think these look really good. It's purple. It's not black. It's just the the color. Midnight purple. That's purple. That's definitely purple. Dark purple. Okay, I've got it up on my lots on that. Also, love that it's Kyler Murray that Madden chose Kyler Murray as the as the feature athlete for these. I don't love it. Certainly not Justin Jefferson.

It just looks like a darker version of their I like the purples. It looks like Ravens purple. Yeah, it's like it's it's a hybrid of like Ravens the Ravens black and the and the I think these are like an eight. I think they're so clean. I like it. I like the braid on So we give this a seven. I'm gonna give it a five. I just think it's

Fire. Titans. it is the T. This T back here that is I'm pretty sure that's going on the helmet. That's cool. Music City looks good. It's a good color, good color scheme. I wish they would do something that's red, though. A red uniform. Which maybe they are. Is that like a part of their though? Better than the Colts. They're gonna look better than the Colts. Much better than the Colts. They look a ton

Is that helmet like light blue? Yeah. Like a pink I I like that color scheme. I'd give it a seven. Wait, is Tony Pollard really their best their their franchise player? Cam Ward right now. Yeah, but but they're Tony Pollard on the picture, so they didn't do I mean it was like Sauce Gardner was the Colts one. Yeah, it's not gonna be Cam Ward or Carnell Tate or anything.

And that's it. All right. what do we rank the overall rivalries uniforms? I think they're

Right down the mouth. The Color Rush was really ugly. I love Color Rush. I love watching a fucking Jaguars, a Jaguars Titans game with mustard and baby blue. Derrick Henry just going for like 150 on the ground on a Thursday night game. They did Rams and was it Rams Cardinals? It was mu it was yellow and red. It was the McDonald's game. Yeah. That was bad.

That was good for like cause it was kinda entertaining to look at how bad it was. But it was pre meme culture. That would have been like clutch in the Twitter TikTok era. No, I remember the Colts played the Broncos on like a Thursday night game and they both did color rush. The Colts did all blue. It was all blue versus all orange. that was like in the that was like the earlier internet meme era. The Colts All Blue was one of the few color rushers I kinda liked.

I kinda like it was it was like deep blue jersey, deep blue pants, everything. Was it black? The hats had what? The the the bright red? Was that what it was? I don't even remember. I it might have been just like a play on our alternate red jerseys, yeah. Like a very bright red. All right. and then throw back to it. and then the SEC has banned NFL players from playing in the SEC.

Why how the fuck did we get here? How did we get to where the SEC has to ban NFL players from trying to come back and Caleb, are you aware of this? I saw the Big Ten did it. I didn't know the SEC did it. Yeah, the SEC did it yes. why and then the NF and the SEC also just said that if you try to recruit an NFL player to come back, the head coach will be suspended. didn't an NFL player just sign with LSU? He went to LSU and then they said no. I think they're like, you can't do that.

Yeah, but all the pro sports leagues also said the same thing. How did we get here? How did we get to this point? It's because there is no rules in the NIL. It's still the Wild West. Well, here the N the NCAA was so corrupt, it had to that system had to be broken down. Because I mean, it they were it was a bad organization. But then you just went to the complete opposite. Where you have like like a body that's

Completely obsessed with powerless to no power at all. And anybody can do whatever they want. It's like the NBA versus the NBA Players Union. The NBA has like no power in what they do. Players union just does whatever they want. Yeah. But we I feel like we're also sold a lie with the NAO players will be able to be compensated for their name image and likeness. That's what we thought we were getting.

If a player wants to be on the that reminds me, I should cover up, I should cover up the five for Jaden Daniels. For Jaden Daniels, yes. That reminds yeah, out of respect. But you say, well, if a player wants to go to a car dealership and sign autographs for a few grand, then he's allowed to do that. If he wants to put his name on t shirts and sell it for his own brand, he can do that. We didn't know it was gonna be we'll give you five million dollars to come play here for a year.

That wasn't what NIL was meant to be. Yeah, it's gotten way out of out of control. It's it's yeah, it's out of control. They went from way too strong to way too weak. I think they'll find I think I'm not a fan of government intervention and I really don't believe in our government's competency, but they might need there there will be government intervention, I think, in this.

The government will step in, I think and But is it gonna fix anything or is it just gonna go back to the N C double A? Are they gonna create a a governing body that just becomes that? Shockingly, I think they could actually maybe do a little better than what's going on right now. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Unless there's some sort of governing body, yeah. For the fans, college sports was better under the N C double A.

Without the actual yes, without anything for the fans. They have to find a middle ground, but that's when you have tough part. There was a a player for KU a long time ago who KU paid for him to fly home to visit his family. And they said that was impermissible benefits and he was suspended because his mom was sick or something. And one of the coaches said, Yeah, I'll just pay for your ticket. Go home and see your family. Like

You're suspended, you can't play in the in the tournament. So that kind of shit was awful. but this is worse. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right, we're gonna move to our Maryland spotlight and then we will be drafting. Alrighty, Maryland spotlight. So we are gonna turn our attention to the Norfolk tide against the Durham Bulls. Blaze Alexander, who is historically 0 for eight against Caleb. Is that what you said?

for eight, six Ks. yeah, he had a pretty good play though defensively. Let's let's react to that.

Got him Somersault Dive there or Somersault Tag.

Feel like when someone makes a good play on you, you have to go argue it. Just just to save your pride. Was that Reed Brignaak, the first base coach?

It was at third base. Holy sh he was safe.

He was safe. He was safe. He was safe. He was safe. I can't see on the phone screen, but I'm on I'm on some poor poor people shit right now. Yeah. Yeah. but Caleb, sta what was your best at bat or best matchup against Blaze Alexander? Do you remember it? I've I blew through straight fastball by him multiple times. no. He w

I I I did play against him a bunch in high school, but we we we knew he was a good player, especially defensively. Like he was the talk of Southwest Florida growing up just cause he was gone like ninety five across the infield as like a fourteen year old. So I mean the dude is a defensive wizard. This doesn't surprise me at all. I he did have one warm up throw that he sailed into our dugout at about I my my eye radar gun had it about ninety eight miles an hour.

But dude's a defensive stud. I I genuinely am rooting for him. I I talk shit as a joke, but I genuinely am rooting for him because he's from this area. He's from Fort Myers. and it's it's fun to see Yeah. This area as in the one I am in currently, not to dox myself, but Fort Lauderdale, famously Caleb's area. Fort Myers, but yeah, same thing. Fort Myers. Yeah, Fort Myers sorry, Fort Myers completely different. Well, but it's your area.

Everyone's Liz Alexander just lived here. No, but the dude's disgusting defensively. So I I genuinely am rooting for him. I I think he's gonna be like at le at the very least, like a like a not quite Andrew Dun Simmons, but like a defense first kind of left side of the infield guy.

Twenty five gotta come up with No, he's twenty seven. He's gotta come up. He has been up. He's been up. He was been up, yeah. Like he's got like the Orioles, I watched He hit a home didn't he hit a big home run this season for the Orioles? He's hit a home run this season. I know that. Yeah, I thought it was like a I thought it was like a big one though. I remember it being on like the MLB morning rundown. No, but playing Bishop Roe High School

you came in and you watched Blaze Alexander throw a long toss. It was the most incredible thing ever. Like you knew when he was a junior in high school that the dude was going to play big league ball just because of his glove. Like he didn't hit great against us. Sorry Blaze. especially not against you. No, no, absolutely not. It was a dog. I'm just kidding, but no, but he was one of those dudes in high school that you played and you knew he was he was going to play in the bigs.

Or you knew he was at least gonna get drafted. I think he went third or fourth round. I might be completely misremembering, but he's a stud. I'm I'm do I think the Orioles made a good pickup getting him this year or last year whenever they picked him up in the diamond box.

Alrighty, and that's gonna be a good spot for us to move into excuse our opinion.

Pardon excuse our opinion. the show that is definitely not based on PTI and was created roughly in our heads around two thousand and sixteen when Harambe died. I'm gonna start with my opinion. R I P to the real one. Harambe. Seriously. Rookie of the Year is not a good movie. It's not a good baseball movie.

this is coming off the back of our draft from last week. a lot of people were like, Where's Rookie of the Year? Where's Rookie of the Year? It ha have you watched it as an adult or as like so. As a baseball fan, as a baseball fan, I remember even being like I was like a an early teenager watching it again and I was like, huh, this this isn't as good as as how I remember. I mean, Daniel Stern is great.

as Brickma. He's amazing. He's hilarious. I love him. I can't remember the kid's name in real life, but Rowan Gardner. I mean he's he's a great just like a great kid being in a major league locker room. He you know he's constantly just has the big wide eyes like, my God. but the rest of it, Gary Busey can't throw a baseball, you just said it. I and and Little Big League came out a year later and

It's just so much better of a movie that it just ruins watching Little Big League. 'Cause it's it's roughly the same concept. I mean or Rookie of the Year. PCA's mom is in little big league. Little big league. yeah, it just kinda ruined it. The the kid the kid being in like baseball, like in a major league baseball locker room, is much done much better in little big league than Rookie of the Year. Now, if you're like an eight year old, yeah, Rookie of the Year is probably pretty funny.

He's got the arm, you hear the you know, the stretching of the tendons, the kid or the doctor saying funky butt loving or what what was it? Funky butt loving when he gets in. Funky butt loving. Yeah. Funky butt loving crazy. Crazy to say. It just it feels a lot it feels like they just didn't even as like a kid, I was like, they're just not taking this a quite as serious as I would have hoped they would. Like take it just a little more seriously, even for a kid's movie.

So yeah, it's just not that it's not that good. Little Big League was done a lot better. Little Big League is a kids' movie and it was done just a lot better. Okay, so Angel in the Outfield or Angels in the Outfield, terrible movie. But it was great when I was like eight. And I still remember I watch it all the time because I love baseball. Yeah. Yeah. It's like but but now we're doing a we're doing a draft of the top movies and we realize it's really just not that good.

Yes. It didn't belong it Rookie of the Year does not belong in the in the baseball movies draft. It's Moneyball. Which is fine. That's ex I'd just like to take a What were you saying Moneyball? Do you want to have a fucking discussion about Moneyball right now? I I was I was going back and listening because we'll we'll just roll this into the take. I was going back and listening to what you were saying. Do you think that the A's based their entire like organizational

Whatever procedures on Moneyball, the book that is about the A's? No, no, and I never said that. So not what I said. That is exactly what you said in that you said they took that book and they rolled with it for twenty years. That was what you said. Are you done? Yeah. Can I speak? May I speak? Can you speak? I said

The popularity of the concept of Moneyball through the book. It was popularized enough that people thought it was legitimate and they said, sick, we don't have to spend any money. We'll just tell our fans we're still doing Moneyball. And that is absolutely true. They were never going to spend money. I know. I know that. But that didn't the book did not change what the A's were gonna do.

It changed the perception. Where we can't spend money because of nine eleven. They could have ran with that for twenty years and it's they would have done the exact same thing. Doesn't matter. It's a valid ar thank you, Caleb. Thanks, Osaka. Nine eleven or my argument? No, nine eleven. after it's everything changed after nine eleven. Including DA's spending house. DA's, yeah. Yes. They watched it, they looked at it and said, no, this doesn't matter.

Baseball doesn't matter. You know, there's a lot there's a lot more going on in the world and we don't have to spend money because of nine eleven. I think we need to get a a PI to look into John Fisher and his involvement in nine eleven to be. Nine eleven. I think that's time. It's definitely time. Well, technically it was Steven Schott at the time. The owner, but Nah, same thing. But was it? Honestly, when I was when I was watching Moneyball, I was like, it's just John Fisher because they looked exactly the same.

I was like, you could throw they went about their business exactly the same. They just did not care about the team on the field. It's e they're they are the same person. They're just improving the good team. They might they might actually be the same person and they just transferred funds to not have to pay like the it's opposite of what the Dodgers are doing. Dodgers doing transferring money out of the organization into shell companies. So we're fucking broke. We're broke.

Outside of St. Thomas and St. Kitts, where the money is. Can I give my take? Yeah, you can give yours. My opinion. I have one opinion. It's not a take. It's not a take. It's an opinion. I think that while the hard making is the easiest sport to be good in, I think that the NFL is the hardest sport to be terrible in. What's the easiest sport to be good in?

The NBA. If you're the NBA. I mean, look at the Spurs. You get Wemby and not much else matters at that point. You've got that. When LeBron came into Cleveland, not that much else, but they were they were getting dragged to the Eastern Conference Finals. In football, all of your talent comes from one place. College football. There have been, I looked it up, less than 25 players ever in the NFL that didn't come from college football. So you have one thing to scout.

That's it. One thing. baseball at the NBA, hockey. You have to scout the whole world. Baseball, you're drafting dudes, and it's five years, maybe some of them, until they're good. The NFL, you know what you're getting. There is a salary cap that's supposed to even everything out. There's major competitive balance because you don't have to worry about a draft lottery. If there's a guy at the top of the draft, you can tank and guarantee yourself that guy. So how are the Jets and Browns?

This bad for this long. It's almost you almost have to intentionally intentionally be that bad. We can't we can't care about mentioning the Cardinals when it comes to really, really bad organizations will pre-pass because they're just so irrelevant. Like the Jets and the and the and the Browns are like relevantly bad. Like they are laughably bad. They do stupid shit in the public eye. The Cardinals are irrelevantly bad, or at least they keep it all in house.

They keep it there. Especially in the last like five years when you've had a run of dominance from like the Rams, Seahawks, and 49ers. It's just kinda like, and then there's the Cardinals. Nobody puts their attention to it. Every one of those teams has been to two Super Bowls since twenty fourteen. Seattle's only been to one. Or since fourteen, yeah. Yeah. Two seasons since fourteen. I was thinking since the Cardinals have been to one though.

Cardinals been to one. How many of the Browns been to? Aren't the Cardinals in like twenty ten? Yeah, with Carson Pwn. that was the James Harrison pick six. Yeah. Yeah. Was it twenty ten? It's been a while. I think it was like twenty ten, twenty thousand nine. It's been a while. I think no, I think the nine season the nine season was Colts, was Colts and and Saints. The nine C I think it was the twenty ten year, twenty eleven Super Bowl. If you went back to two thousand and ten.

And you just threw fucking darts in the draft. Could you draft better than the Browns? Yes. It's hard to be as bad as they are. It's almost it's almost intentional to be that bad. 'Cause I think the NFL is the easiest sport to go from bad to okay. Are the are the Browns trying to leave again? Are they trying to go to England? Yeah, they should. They should go to fucking

They really should do that, so it can prove just how bad international football is gonna be. The Browns might have a bet Browns might struggle to be competitive in the European Football League. They would find a way. They'd find a way to lose that that league too. D Deshaun Watson starting quarterback week one, by the way. What they had Baker Mayfield, by the way. They had Baker. They had playmaker fucking Baker. And you signed a rapist.

Dick Sporting Goods in Golf Galaxy will pull all good good items from their shelves. No free ads. What the fuck is good good? good good, you guys aren't on the golf side, I forgot. I know I've I know good good. I've seen a few of their videos. I I really don't like YouTube golf. I think it's like just super gimmicky. I don't know why. It's very hard for me to watch. and I mean I wasn't an amazing golfer, I was okay, but they had an ad with Callaway.

where a it was like a driver in a bag and a woman goes to grab the driver and one of the good good guys shoves her to the ground and is like, Don't touch my driver while on the ground. It's I don't know how it made it past the cutting room floor. I would have never done that. I've it was so fucking weird. I'm sorry. People and then there are other people saying you're overreacting about it. I'm sorry. If you got a guy that's like don't touch my driver while pointing to a woman on the ground, that's

After shoving her, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's I would never do that to any woman. There is yeah, there's a double standard. I do it to Caleb. I'd do that shit to Caleb. Of course I would. Well, it's just like a shit. Yeah. I would do that to Caleb a hundred percent. Because you're a friend and a man like a a man pushing a woman down is just never acceptable in my opinion. I don't care if it's over a driver. And it's not something to laugh at. Here's the thing.

Sorry, I don't like domestic violence. Alex. Not only does it have to get past like editing, somebody pitched that idea in like a boardroom meeting, and all the middle-aged elderly white dudes in there are like, hmm, that could go over well. Then they filmed the commercial, edited it, tested it out, and ran it. Like, how many opportunities was there for someone to be like, there must not be a woman.

In the organization. No. If she saw it, she'd like, that's incredibly offensive and honestly would be terrible for the brand. The video, like when you so like, 'cause it's c a commercial, like when I I remember when I first saw it and I was like, okay, whatever. And then I watched it again and I was like I was like, what the fuck? It's one of those where like 'cause when I see a commercial I tune out. I immediately tune out and I'm like, okay, whatever, it's some fucking stupid kid likes his driver.

And then you watch it one more time and you're like, what the fuck? Why they pulling Goodgood stuff and not Callaway? Well, Good Good, it was like a brand, it was a collaboration, and Goodgood was the one who produced it and made it. so it wasn't like an official Callaway. It was a Butterfly. It was for a collaboration with Callaway. It was for a collaboration with Callaway for the new Callaway driver. But it was a good good ad.

Like it was it was both of them. They're both stupid as shit. Callaway is like Callaway's Ford or or Honda or like in the car. Like you're not you're not pulling every single Honda car because of like a really stupid ad that they made. I thought you were saying it was a Callaway run commercial that they I'm just saying I'm just saying from a business sense, like you're not pull like no golf company would pull. Yeah.

Callaway golf clubs because it's just such a big brand, it's just not gonna happen. Good, good, they can say, Yeah, fuck off. my god. Yeah, it's weird. It's it's really odd that they thought that that was cool or funny. Wow.

No, that's like the the worst commercial I've ever seen. Holy shit. If you like turn your brain on a little bit to watch it, that you're like, my god. And he he pushed her in the back. Just ran up behind her. And then she goes and then you hear her go like she like makes like a little like like a like a woman who was just pushed down. Just It's like listening to Baby It's Cold Outside without really listening to the lyrics.

Every every person that's like older than forty, you're like, this is a little bit of a weird song, isn't it? This is real. No, it's not. No, it's not. And you're like, It's romantic. This is how I this is how I met my wife. I stalked my wife for three weeks before she finally said yes to my advances. I showed up at her kitchen window at ten o'clock when her parents were asleep and no one could hear her scream. That's how I got my wife.

All right, Caleb, what's your take? And the greatest transition of all time. My hot take, or my my opinion, the drop third strike is the worst rule in baseball history. I agree. Thank you. I agree. I'm glad I'm not just a biased pitcher here. If you are a p I experienced his first fucking hand last night at the Red Sox game. Wyatt Olds, one strike away from shutting this game out. Struck I forget who he struck out. Whatever.

Disgusting curveball, slider, sweeper, whatever it was. I had a bad angle. Okay. Connor Wong, a professional catch, a major league catcher, cannot hang on to a pitch that was swung at and missed. And the pitcher, why it holds, gets a wild pitch, gets I believe the unearned run was charged against him. I probably should have gone back and checked the box for, but nonetheless.

The run scored, the game was tied, runner reached first because Wild made a pitch that was so nasty that the hitter couldn't hit it, catcher couldn't catch it. He should not be punished for that. If it's less than two outs, yeah, obviously play it as normal rules. Runners on base currently can run however they want. But if you strike out and whiff so badly on a pitch that a catcher can't catch, you should not be rewarded for such.

And the pitcher should not be punished for such. Can I adjust your take slightly? Yes, please. If you do not swing at a pitch and it is dropped, you technically have not struck out because it's still a live ball. If you swing and miss and the catcher drops the ball, you are out. You swung at the third strike. You have struck out of the at-bat. You can't just come back in.

But if you didn't swing and miss. Okay. Can you repeat that for me? If you swing, if you swing at the third strike and the catcher drops the ball, you are out. You have been you have been put out. By rule, you are out of the field of play. You can't run the bases. If you don't swing, ball's not swinging. Balls, yeah, but

The ball is dead to you as the batter because you swung it back. As the battery, but the ball is still in play if it's to the backstopper, so Yes. But the batter's string to run. But if you don't swing at it, the strike was never technically completed. So maybe then you should be able to go. It's one of those weird baseball things. I I feel like it's a little rare, I guess, for a drop third strike to happen on a call. Mm-hmm. But it happened.

It does, yeah, for sure. I think I don't know how I would go about it. I haven't seen it affect a game like it did last night. Well, here's the thing. Technically, if you don't it it ha it does happen, by the way. It does happen that it the ball gets past the catcher. The umpire hasn't called you out because the ball is live. So the batter is has not been called out if he doesn't swing at the third strike. The umpire did not call you out. But if you swung

and missed you called yourself out. You're out. You swung at a third strike. It's like a weird. Yeah, that's what I'm that's what I'm trying to trying to that's what I want to happen. Is yeah, I actually you strike out, you are out. You're done. That's it. No running to first. No you're not stealing first. You're not doing that bullshit. I don't just you are out. It is that simple. And I'm not trying to just say that 'cause it almost fucked over the Red Sox last night.

I have hated this rule since I was 13 years old. Or was since whenever it actually gets introduced into Little League Baseball. It's awful. Terrible rule. So pointless, it rewards bad behavior, to put it lightly. Yeah. Incompetence, bad play. No, Caleb, I am I was with you the second Royal's about to score here. I was with you the second you said it. I hate that rule. I have a wilder proposed rule change.

But I will save it for the next podcast. Cause it mine's wilder. Yeah, do that. All right. that's gonna complete our hot takes. and we were going to move into They're not takes They're opinions. Opinions. You're trying to get us fucking sued? Opinions. I apologize. I apologize. Opinions. I was thinking very hard about your your take, Caleb. That was a good that was a good thinker. let's move into the next segment. I was torn between two. Moment we've all been waiting for

The snake draft. I put this at the end of the episode so you all will watch the rest of it. congratulations to Caleb on running away with the draft in the Google sheet. So the official votes go to chaoticlyintolerant.com, click on the episode post, and you can vote right there. You don't even have to put your email in. You can literally just hit vote and submit and that's it.

But yeah, Caleb has won. He ran away with it with 66.7%. I do have a little point system that we're gonna do so we can keep track of the standings of everyone who participates in the draft. Caleb who won last week? Did Caleb win last week? Or the one before. Two and Yeah, you are two-no. You beat me and Mike. on the Instagram poll though, that was our most voted one. It was Caleb, then me, then John.

Sorry. But who won the TikTok poll? with nine votes or eight votes or something like that? Doesn't matter. I won. One that does not matter? Yeah, you got your cronies go and vote for you. That's the benefits of being a TikToker, huh? You had stilts from the Savannah Bananas polling for you. That's not fair. I was like, yo, put this up on the board of the bananas game for me, dude. Alright, so I'm drafting first. Come on. I want to get my pick out.

Kate, no, you you want to take the first pick? Yes. I just have to confirm that you're taking the first pick. This is like Caleb said, this is a 2010 MLB draft situation. Bryce Harper is on the board. We know who I'm getting. I know. I'm gonna take third. I'm gonna take third. We'll take second. You can have second. Made this easier for me. What's the topic? best MLB player, best fictional baseball players.

Now there are a few rules here. you cannot take a player that existed in real life, that actually existed in real life. Obviously a lot of these players by the Yankees. Yeah, you can't take Luke Garrick, you can't take Jackie Robinson from forty two. If a player is inspired by a real life player, you absolutely can take that player. Your justifications for the player, you cannot mention, you cannot be like this guy is based on Babe Ruth, or this guy's like 'cause that's fucking cheap too.

we will not you will you will forfeit your pick if you do that. That nukes my second pick.

Interesting. I'm curious who you're gonna take. but you can't take you cannot take somebody that is based off of You can, but you can't say it. Yeah, you can't use that as your justification. You absolutely can take there's plenty I mean almost every single movie ball player is based off of some sort of baseball player. Like their mind. Is there any chance your pick is based on Barry Bonds loosely? I don't think I'm allowed to say that, if so. Huh. I'm trying to nuke your pick.

can I take my pick? Yes. No, please don't. I I believe this guy was taken first overall in every single backyard baseball draft ever. Does anybody take anybody in backyard baseball other than Pablo Sanchez? Got the hat. Secret weapon? I'm taking Pablo Sanchez first overall. Give me my trophy. I did I turn the hat backwards in solidarity.

Gotta do it. Yeah, there's no coming back from that. I've got Pablo Sanchez. Pablo's the fucking goat.

He's very, very good in that game. He's amazing. He's the greatest.

There's a few guys that I actually would have taken over him, to be honest. No, there's none. I would have liked over him. No. There's so then you would have been wrong. Go. Take take your picture. I'm gonna stick in the video game realm. John Travel knew that. I'm gonna be popping in the time traveling machine back to two thousand five. We're a good old Giants outfielder, strong white man by the name of John Dowd.

Power hitting left-handed outfielder. John Dowd. The greatest power hitter we have seen in video game history. I don't know who he's based off of. That would be crazy to find out. But he is basically outfield. I believe he was left field. Specifically, yeah. Yeah. I will I will go John Dowd. John Dowd. If you and if you had taken Pablo, I was gonna counter with John Dowd. Either way. That's it's the one and two.

Yeah. Or Pepe Alizar. That's I was leaning that too. I really did not care to look at video game players, to be honest. I gotta cross off my number two overall. John. I know who he's taking. It's easily the best the best player. It's Roy Hobbs. He had eight no hitters.

I think it's at Sub Sabat, I can't remember the league. Eight no hitters as a teenager. then strikes out the whammer, gets shot by a woman he was trying to have sex with. who is the whammer based off of? I don't know. He's based off of somebody. At the in the movies and the book he's based off of. What? Who is Roy Hobbs based off of? Roy Hobbs. Okay.

A good try. I like that. He's Roy Hobbs. but yeah, he strikes out the whammer and then gets shot when he's trying to have sex with a girl and then she kills herself. And then he comes back about 16 years later. 16 years later comes back and leads the New York Knights, who are in the bottom of the league. Basically, when when he comes in to pinch hit, it is the summer solstice. So that's like late June. Bottom of the league.

Hits a home run in the lights in the one game playoff to win the pennant against the Pirates. he literally has my god. Light tower power. Literally does. he's the wonder boy. I mean he hit the cover off of baseball in a major league game. Literally hit the cover off the baseball. So absolutely the greatest power hitter that we've ever had. and he's my number one. might not be the only player on this list that hit the cover off a ball. I'm just saying.

That's very true. That is very, very true. I I agree. I took I I like scouted this draft in a few different ways. And I'll tell I'll tell you guys, it's fine. I really don't care. best players, like overall is like the best player, the most baseball of players, like the guy who is like the most baseball person that you could think of. Maybe as a player they weren't amazing, but they were very good. Or like they were they just had the energy. They were

Like when you think of baseball you think of these guys. So you're thinking of Vibes guy. Children and then animated. Who are like not and th not in any way human. But I'm gonna go He's gonna take care of Bud. Mr. Ed. Mr. Ed. man, I wish I don't wanna spoil a pick. I don't wanna spoil a pick to for anyone else, but Mr. Ed the GOAT helps Joey from Friends.

I'm trying to decide if I want to take my most baseball or my best player. I'm gonna take another best player. I'm gonna take the guy who had an 81-pitch perfect game in the World Series, and he hit two home runs in the same game. Steve Nebraska from the Scout, Brendan Fraser, did it in game one of the World Series. he is l he was Shohei. He was Shohei. That is literally before Shohei existed, like show that's who he is. So I'll take Steve Nebraska and

Roy Hobbs. Those were actually my one and two that I wanted. So I'm glad I got

might not be the only two-way Shohei player in this draft, also. Actually, yes, there is another one I had written down. There is another mock draft. I'm I've got my leader. I call it a scout. I'm like scouting. I'm not mocking the draft. I'm scouting. Scouting my guard. All right. I am going to get a top of the rotation arm.

This was Jacob Mizorowski before Jacob Mizorowski. This was a man who had some control issues in his minor league tenure. Then he locked it in. No, he went to the show thanks to the help of his veteran catcher. An eyesight doctor to get he might have had some issues with that. He also might have had some off the field issues with some females.

I'm lying. I'm gonna take I'm going to take the flamethrowing Nuke Lelouosh from Bull Durham. Whoa, that's not who I thought you were going with. Nope, I'm going Nuke Lelouche. Is meat. I mean, it's a fun picture to watch. Ebbie Calvin, the Nuke Lelouche. The Nuke Lelouche. Threw gas, had no idea where it's going. He almost killed the Bull mascot. Created some incredibly great moments in the movie Bull Durham. Saw.

I mean, that's the top of the rotation our mindset. That's a vibe guy. That is a vibe. 200 strikeouts. He's gonna be a 200 strikeout guy in the big leagues. Absolutely. All right. Well, I've got power, but I need I need a three hole hitter. I need a true three hole hitter. there's two options here. I'm taking T Rex Pennebaker. 50 home runs, 300 batting average from Mr. 3000. He had 50 home runs. my god.

He fucking left his team in the middle of a playoff race. Are you fucking serious? He's a horrible teammate.

Teammate? We're only drafting five guys. We're not drafted one. Soto. Yeah. He was a horrible teammate. He left his being a teammate is just as important as being the player. No, he's a horrible horrible teammate. He grew as a person. He grew as a person. That's a that's that's a Harold Baines. Take Catel Martin next. Go ahead and take Catel Martin next. No, I'm taking Rick Wild thing Vaughn with my hold on hold on. Repeat, repeat Bernie Mac's name again for me.

I didn't even write him down. Mr. Three Thousand? What's name in the movie. In the movie. I don't know. I don't know. I literally don't know off the top of my head. It's been You just said it. No, T Rex Penne I'm not taking the main character. I'm taking T Rex Pennebaker. yeah. I it's been incredibly long since I've actually seen the movie. The big guy who became a leader in the clubhouse grew as a person over time.

He he was he was a poor teammate early in the movie, but by the end of the movie he was ready to take over as the leader of the franchise. Fifty home runs, three hundred batting average, and then like I said, I am taking Rick Wild Thing Vaughn from Major League, which is who I thought Caleb was going with when he said control issues. but then he said in the minors, and I knew. So that's my two and three.

Rick Vaughn was a waiver pickup. Nuke Louis was a top prospect, so I I won that one. Thanks a lot. And Rick also struggled in the regular season in that movie. Yeah. Don't get me don't get me started on Major League Two. Rick Vaughn turned into a five starter at best. He's the boot. I'm not taking I never said maybe He had a really good walkout song and then he had like a few a few good I feel like innings. Like I never really don't

I don't recognize Major League Two as canon anyway. So that's fanfiction. What about Major League Three? What about back what is it? Back to the Miners? Back to the Minors. Fanfiction. Not a real movie. Doesn't exist. It's like the Titanic Two. yeah, Caleb, we were talking about Titanic. There's like twenty movies. Twenty Titanic movies. Titanic three, back to the bottom of the ocean. Yeah, the sequel's gotta go crazy.

Not real. All right, Caleb. Take I'm torn. I am torn so hard between four players right now. I've got two closers. I've got a starter. You just gotta take one of them. I've got a first baseman. You just gotta take one of I'm going to eliminate the starters because I got my eighth. I think I need some power, and I think I need some international presence. And not in the kind that you're thinking right now. I'm talking about a man.

Who was a power hitting first baseman in the major leagues? Mr. Worldwide. He all of a sudden was taken over by a certain first baseman that was played by a guy on the White Sox who also was a power hitting first baseman. And this guy happened to head over to Japan. And I believe he set the record for home runs that year. I'm going to take Mr. Jack Elliott from Mr. Baseball, Tom Selleck's character. The one time MVP. Yeah.

That's all it takes is one MVP. How many MVPs are on this draft right now? Pablo Sanchez. There you go. And he went 1-1. I mean. Give me Jack Elliott. right now. He was so powerful in Japan, they started throwing at him because he was going to set the record. That was eventually broken by Munataka Muritakami, which I don't think they covered in the movie, but.

Give me Jack Elliott. All right. Jack Elliott. I love I love I love Tom Sellick. So anything Tom Selleck is in. If my next pick falls in the fourth round, I'm gonna lose my shit. I'm gonna take a vibes guy here.

I'm gonna go with the Vibes guy. I'm gonna go with the guy that they bring in to calm down the youngins. I'm gonna take the minor league home run leader. Okay, thank God. In Crash Davis. He can't be left off this board. He cannot fall to the fourth round. I'm taking Crash Davis. You have to.

And then with my wraparound pick. I'm so excited about this one. Caleb. I swear to God, if you do it. I swear to God, if you do what I'm about to do, I'm going to kill you. I'm gonna go with my child player that I'm choosing. I'm gonna go with the PF Flyers. I'm gonna go with the guy who stole home at Dodger Stadium. I'm gonna go with Benny the Jet. Rodriguez. He outran the beast. He hit the cover off the baseball.

You want to talk about covers off the baseball? A child hit the cover off the baseball. my god. I can't believe you let him fall to me, Caleb. he was gonna go to the fifth round of me. I didn't have Crash Davis on my board. He didn't. what? Crash Davis? All time minor league home run leader? There's a reason you were last. No, I didn't have I didn't have him on my board. This is the guy that took the Benny the Jet with the PF Flyers. With the PF I don't I mean, are the PF Flyers included? I feel like it's part of the character, it's included.

Yeah, you get the shoes for sure. You get the steel home, you get his career as a pinch runner, fourth outfielder, sure. I'll still take Benny the Jet, I'm sorry. I'm I'm ready to cut a WWE promo for my pick here. Cause there is no other way. There's no other way you can introduce this pick. All star closer, superstar. He threw harder and he told you that he was fing better than you. yeah, controversial.

He might have been controversial. He might have injured himself and talked himself out of the league with his off the field concerns. But I fucking tell you what, when you talk about some of the most electric pitchers in this game, you talk about Kenny motherfucking powers. I love it. He never he never played one season in a row with a team, but who the fuck cares? He's a merman legend.

He's the green you see him coming out of the pen hanging on to a Wolton gate. I'm actually gonna I'm gonna advertise for you. He won the he closed out the 2002 World Series as a rookie. He was a superstar closer. I mean Kenny Powers, love it. Love Ken. I can't believe he f he fell into the fourth round. I can't believe it. He was definitely on my list, but I think my guys are. I like my guys. I didn't know if he was too controversial to take too, because he's the the show isn't exactly PC.

I mean, he's got, you know, he he's got he's got some he's got some locker room issues, definitely, but I mean it's Kenny fucking powers. Also, Stevie is the best character of that show. Stevie's the most controversial. Some of the clips I see of Stevie says something. Well, the clip the clip with his eyebrows shaved off. I think you know what I'm talking about. They're in the restaurant. We can't say what he says. We're not I'm not going to repeat He he wants some roles. He watched

He wants to what about when Kenny dunks on like their fake version of Sport Sports Center and he's in the crowd? Who does he dunk on? Is it like Charles Barkley or Magic Johnson or something? I thought was Craig Robinson. was it? I was thinking it was an actual NBA player. I don't know. It might have been an actual NBA But yeah. I was I was like rewatching it a few months ago. Just I tried to get s my girl to watch it. She was like, when I when I texted in the chat, when I texted in the chat, I think I said something like Alex

I know Alex is liking Instagram posts of my my pick that I want in this draft. I saw you like some east bounded down posts. Yeah. And I got nervous. Great pick. Great pick. I he was there. but I was gonna let him I was gonna let him drop. Yeah. I got I got my guy, so I'm happy. this is a player who is twelve. He is twelve. Yes. Yeah he is f he is twelve. I'm taking none other.

Then Carlos. That's a fantastic thing. Mind you, was twelve. He was eligible to play. yeah, that's my pick. It was according to Elbert's certificate. That is it was he had a problem. He has documentation. He has documentation. He is twelve. and then I'm gonna wrap Well hold on, hold on. The problem is though, he can't he can't avoid the liquor. Maria, I don't care Maria just is in his head on the mound.

He's like a two or three inning guy. Yeah, you can maybe get two or three innings. He's not a starter. Don't like don't let Nick Schwartzon get to him. No, but here, I was gonna say I want, you know, a more down to earth pitcher, a guy you can count on, a guy who he's he's never not shown. I was gonna take Billy Captain. I however

I had him on my best player because he is a Hall of Famer. Yeah. Won the eighty four World Series. Won every award they could name. Yeah. However, you know what the team I've got, I've got some personalities. And I need I need a strong leader behind the plate. Someone who's not a afraid to talk a little trash. Perhaps tell the opposing pitcher they play ball like a girl. I'm taking Ham Porter.

Hamilton Porter behind the plate. I mean, it's it's gonna be an eventful team. Pablo Sanchez can't talk to anybody, except for Carlos. But it's gonna be an interesting season. However, I I like the roster I put together. Was that was either of those your next pick, Caleb? No. I didn't even have him on my roster. I I don't give you credit for much, though, but those were back to back banger picks. Thank you. Thank you. I am twelve.

Carlos was great. I didn't even think about him. Ham, I was like, Benny. I'd rather have Benny. No. I think Ham Porter's necessary on this team. I think he's a necessary presence in the locker room. He also might be twelve. I don't know how old he was supposed to be. Roughly around there. Ten to twelve, I think. Yeah. Caleb. Let's see what you got. I'm I am torn between two and I'm probably gonna be mad.

about not taking the other person. damn it. there was already somebody from the movie of the one I was gonna take, so I'll flip to the other one just for some some fun diversity might not be the right word for, but that's what I'm going with now. I referenced a shoheotani earlier in this segment.

That I think I will be taking. No, she was not Shohei Otani, but I'm still taking her, anyways. Cause Dottie Henson. she was on my list. Gina Davis's character in League of Their Own. She's great. She was I was I for in my head for a second I thought she was a pitcher, but no, she's a catcher. She rakes. I mean, she keeps her little sister Kit under control as much as she can. Good leader.

And yeah. How would she drop the ball? I don't know how she dropped the ball at the end. Was it on the third strike? No, no. She gets Caleb would not like There's a collision at home play with her and her sister. I think it was a collision. Was it a collision? It was It w it might have been. I haven't seen Lady Orone in a while, but Yeah, Dottie. Give me Dottie. Great pick. Dotty's a No, that's a great pick. Is it his dog? Is it the best quote

In baseball. There's no crying in baseball. Is that the best base yeah, but is it the best baseball movie quote? It's up there. the Bull Durham. I'm putting top three. The Bull Durham, the manager, like this is a simple game. You hit the ball, you catch the ball, you throw the ball. That like whole rant in that. That's not that's not the Bull Durham court I would have gone with. If I'm going to Bull Durham court, I'm going

That ball traveled so far it's gonna need a fucking stewardess on it. Well, that one's good too. Well, give me the bowl. He gets a steak. He's so excited. He's like, he hit the bowl. He hit the fucking bowl. All right. Mr. or Mrs. Irrelevant here. I'm I'm between a few. This is a really tough one. we can only take one. Shut the fuck up.

I have a few different options here. One of them is really, really unconventional. Very unconventional. But his skill, I've never seen skill like this before. He can literally do anything.

I'm not taking him, but I I actually there's no one left to pick, so I'm just gonna say who they are. I have Bugs Bunny on the list. Have you ever seen this guy Do it. This take him. I'm I'm thinking about it because three guys out at once with one. I've seen him I've seen him strike out nine batters at the same time, then go around, catch the ball, and call the batters nincompoops after he did it. How hard was that pick one of them?

It doesn't matter. He th he struck out nine batters then w on one pitch. On one single pitch. It was three batters. It was three. It was three. It was an immaculate inning. Yeah. was it three? Okay. So he struck out three batters on a single pitch. One single pitch. Not even an immaculate inning. That's not an immaculate inning. It's better than an immaculate inning. It's never been better.

But I'm gonna take a center fielder. I think I'm gonna take a center fielder. By the name of Wesley. Will it no. His name is Bobby. Bobby Boucher fielder. This center fielder is named Bobby. He's a three time NL MVP. He hit over three hundred over his lifetime.

He got a forty million dollar a year contract in nineteen ninety-six. So just imagine how amazing of a player this guy. He got the contract from the San Francisco Giants, by the way. He hit an inside the park home run to save his child's life when his child was being held hostage by Robert De Niro.

I'm going Bobby Rayburn. Bobby Rayburn from The Fan, from Robert De Niro's thriller, The Fan.

If you've never seen it, you probably won't understand. But people who have seen people who have seen the fan will understand. Bobby Rayburn is one of the great baseball players in fiction. I mean, who gets forty million dollars in nineteen ninety six? A year. Juan Soto. Juansoto. No. I'm going Bobby Rayburn. As Mr. Immacul or Mr. Irrelevant. Is Billy Chapel the snub of the draft? No. It's Henry Rowan Gardner.

The only reason I didn't take him is because I already have a closer. He loses his arm by the end. He loses his strength by the end. But in his prime. in his prime, absolutely. What do you know about prime Henry Rowengardner? Runfurter. Not as good as prime Caleb Williams striking out Blaze Jordan. No, not Blaze Jordan. Never face I'm gonna take a fictional player, Caleb Williams, against

Blaze Blaze Jordan. I had any one draft. Any I guess what's it called? Honorable mentions. I had the chapel. The other guy I was gonna go with, I was fighting between him and Dottie, Pedro Serrano. Pedro Serrano is on my list. I also I had Jake Taylor for the the culture. When John said he was going catcher, I thought for sure he was going Jake Taylor because Jake Taylor was a little shit.

Second baseman who can poke a ball into the gap. And she does it against against the guys. She was doing it against the guys at the beginning of the movie. the batting title, was basically like he calmed the manager down all the time. Smash PCA's mom. I mean sorry PCA. Kelly Leek. Kelly Leek. Kelly Lee's good one. I had Jack Parkman too from Major League Two.

Parkmanio please Parkman, yeah, he I don't know why. Whenever I watch that, he feels a little too a little too cartoonish outside of the major league. He is the stereotypical, like douchebag, high paid like every single kind of gear. But I but you can't deny Jack Parkman as a player. he was a great agent scientist. Absolutely. Superstar and Bugs Bunny Bugs Bunny, like.

Bugs Bunny. I'm sorry. He's a great ball player. Honorable mention, Airbud. Airbud. Any other honorable mention? Ed. No. Mr. Ed. Mr. Ed. Or no. Mr. Ed too. Ed and Mr. Ed. I can't fucking believe that horse hit a baseball. I can't believe it. Inside the park home run, for fuck's sake. I still I still like y a horse played baseball? Are you fucking kidding me? That's not possible.

No. It is. It happened. It happened. No, it's not fucking possible. It happened in front of our very eyes. Do we want to watch Are you telling me the things in in movies aren't real? Do we want to watch the Mr. Ed clip real quick? No, because I gotta go to a f funeral thing here. And I I also watched the Mr. Ed clip while talking to my dad about this like an hour before we start recording. John, you can drop off. But all right. Do I have to upload?

I it'll it might give you a link. Catch it. Okay. Perfect. I appreciate

Live reaction to Mr. Ed right now. I gotta I gotta tell my dad how I ended up with this draft. This will be a a good ending to the show.

He's talking. There's no way he's talking right now.

He's holding the bat. Is that supposed to be Tommy Lasorda? Possibly. That's Sandy Kovax. That's actually.

There's no way he can swing the bat. He doesn't have thumbs. Or arms. He just has legs. There's no way this horse is gonna hit this baseball. That's Sandy Koufax, for God's sake.

This was prime Sandy Koufax. my god. How did he hit that? How did he fucking hit that?

Dude, that's just not good fundament that's not good fundamental baseball. He knows to run the bases. How does it how can a horse run the bases? He's gonna tear up the infield.

This slide is the craziest thing I've ever seen.

Save The horse was safe!

That's just a generational athlete. That's all I got. Clint Eastwood versus Mr. Ed. That was another clip. Clint Eastwood fought Mr. Ed. Alrighty. Well, that was a good ending. I'm glad we ended with Mr. Ed. I just can't believe that horse hit that baseball. That's crazy. got wheels. All right. Yeah, he's got wheels. I I feel like he actually can't run the bases that fast. He's too heavy to run the bases that fast.

He is a horse. You gotta steal that one in. Well, he can steal really really well, but he's gotta turn. He's gotta be able to turn, like make sharper turns. I don't think he can do that.

He can hit Sandy Koufax. I'm not worried about his base running. I'm doubting the validity of that video right now. I'm doubting it. I'm starting to think it might be doctored a little bit. Just a just a little bit. Alrighty. we're gonna wrap it up right there. That was a great show. Thank you, Caleb. we will well go check out Spring Hill Sports Cards. Go check out John on there. Go check us out. Vote on the draft at chaoticallyintoler.com. That is where your legitimate votes will go.

And we will see you next week.